The Worst Critic

Yep, it's me.

I've found my inner, creative person doesn't respond well to polite prodding. Instead, she needs a firm, upper hand.
One of my own motivational self-talks usually goes something like this...

You know exactly what you need to do.
So, just do it already.

You've been really good at finding distractions lately, and it makes me want to vomit. Get your head out of your...
uh...I mean... get your head out of the clouds and focus.
You don't have time for all of this nonsense.

Quit putting it off, and stop making excuses!

Make the decision and tackle this thing head-on, make it whimper, send it sniveling and cringing into the corner. Glare at it, intimidate it, and reduce it to the inferior little wimp that it is.
No one is going to do it for you. Hell, no one CAN do it for you and it isn't going to go away until you react. You will never be rid of it unless you confront it.

Awwww.....you need a break? You poor, poor, pitiful thing. You're such a tragic wreck... too much pressure for you, huh?

Sure, by all means, take a flippin' break.

Do some yoga, work on your relaxation breathing techniques, drink a tall glass of Moscato, let you mind wander around to inappropriate places for a while. *Sighhhhhhhhh*

Whatever.

Geez!! You need an entire weekend? (eye roll)
Okay, take your little 'relaxing' and 'stress-free' weekend, you freaking pansy...you're embarrassing.
When you come back, it's balls to the wall and no more crybaby sissy crap.

I hope I've made myself clear.

If not, I will make you sorry.

You might possibly get the worst case of food poisoning ever and you won't be able to figure out which end to hold over the toilet. You may even ruin a perfectly good pair of underwear.

Oh, wait! I already did that to you, didn't I? (evil laugh)

Anyway, you get the gist of it.
I'll be watching.


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